Self defense: 10 correct attitudes during a quarrel
The only warrior able to subdue the opponent without even having to touch him is the one who uses the intelligence.
Continuing the speech of the first level personal defense (the most "bland"), let's review some tips about the right attitude to keep in order to avoid a common lite in a physical confrontation.
So let's see what is right to remember in a self-defense situation:
- First, we must forget our pride, we have nothing to demonstrate to those who are in front of us, nor to those who are with us (known or unknown they are); we must prove to ourselves that we are good and strong enough to control our instincts (fear, wariness, etc.)
- The calm as wrath is contagious, we have to maintain a quiet, transparent but determined attitude; let's close a little our eyes, let's straighten our back (without widening shoulders) and let's use a calm gesture (descriptive, gentle but not invading the space of others); at the same time, we can use our hands to hire one of the undeclared defensive mobile guards of the 6DKF (anonymously protecting eyes, mouth and nose)
- We have to use clear syntactic constructs and simple words; we must adopt a tone of voice peaceful, slow and at the same time assertive (with ample pauses); we have to modulate the height of the voice with slight volume changes to focus on what is most important (without being threatening)
- Anger fastly decrease; we must completely slow down our pace (speed of speech, movement, etc.); in this way we will gain time and give opportunity to our "opponent" to lose decision and to reflect on what he is doing (as long as it is only fury to move his actions)
- We must not show any sensation / emotion; no fear (eg. hesitations), no compassion (eg. paternalistic attitudes), no resentment (eg. verbal aggression), no fun (eg. desire to fight); nothing, we must be impenetrable and aseptic as the diamond
- Last but not list, let's try (if possible) to appear as an integral part of the context to which our aggressor belongs, let's identify with him and with his point of view; We do not try to impose ourselves or our way of seeing things but rather choose to show "closeness" (if not even "membership")
- Who speaks does not fight; until the end of the danger we never have to cease to oppose dialogue to aggressions; let's ask for motivations / explanations, let's compose simple questions to which it is unconsciously imperative to answer
- We must demonstrate not to accept but to understand what drives our "adversary" to behave in this way; we need to connect his motivations to ours but without pretending to determine who is right and who is wrong
- We can gently invite our interlocutor to lower the tones, asking for example why he feels the need to shout, to be so agitated (etc.); we must force him to describe his point of view keeping actively working his brain
All these details in a stress situation are difficult to handle and put into practice but let's focus on the fact that, in the worst case, we will not have a second chance to do the right steps.
The time for preparation is now, the one for discipline is every day, the one for concentration will be the self defense moment.
In the next article we will see some examples of advanced psychological techniques.
As we have stated, to deal with the first level of self-defense situation (the one that does not involve the use of force) it is important to prepare ourselves mentally.
Knowing in advance how to react in the right way, we will have a great help in controlling the inevitable emotional stess of the moment.
In a dispute situation we have just begun we must immediately block the escalation that could outcome to harmful results (for us and for others) of violence. So here's 10 things we should at all costs avoid:
- Shorten the distances (nose to nose, with open shoulders, chin up, etc.); this way we bring the fight right away on a physical plane where it will be speed, reflexes and luck to decide our fate
- Touch, indicate or worse shove / hit our "adversary"; it means in effect to start a clash that we do not know how it will end (also from the legal point of view)
- Insulting, raising voice, provoking, mocking, humiliating, producing damage to property or persons; it means breaking an already precarious balance and give our "adversary" a justification to attack
- Accusing the verbal jabs (insults, threats, etc.); who we face should not expect to have chances to prevail over us, neither physically nor verbally, we should not react but even not succumb (we can read the article "Become the absolute zero")
- Threat to be armed, to be skilled fighters, dangerous people (etc.); it does not work, it claims a confrontation and makes it clear that we are afraid, who can fight and is willing to, does not reveals it (we'll discuss this again in the next article)
- Give imperatives orders; an aggresor that is angry with us will never do what we directly say, even if he has doubts about being able to prevail (in the next article we will see how to play in our favor this mechanism)
- Move quickly, shake our arms with big movements (or worse at eye level), showing nervousness and / or talk faster; for an angry mind everything that moves faster, stronger and near is a threat (fast means violent)
- Look intensely into the "adversary" eyes for more than a few seconds; the look is for many like a finger pointing, an angry look like a sword pointed, in other words an unbearable threat
- Let us not to be taken by anger, fear, panic or excessive confidence; let's try to gain the right benefit from this information we are gathering, and let's use them (along with martial practice) to increase our awareness
- Wasting time thinking to things like: "why it happen to me?", "What do I do now? I am not ready!", "Why here?", "Why now?" (etc.); useless, probably we were not careful enough but now it is not important, the danger is here, we must be lucid to dialogue and determined to (possibly) fight with all our resources
In the next article we'll see what is right to do when you are in a self defense situation.
Reconnecting us to the article "The 6DKF's diagram about the use of violence", we want to reopen the discourse about the personal defense to go deeper in real contexts.
We have to imagine to be in a common situation, caused for example by:
- A reaction to a overtaking of a motorcycle / car
- A look / gesture misinterpreted
- An involontary shove in a queue / on the road
- An unwanted joke / compliment / laugh
Let us identify a context where, in front of us (for direct or indirect reasons), there are one or more persons whose state of alteration is as follows:
- Ability to reason slowed and blurred by anger (they only focus on what we've done and / or what we are)
- Adrenaline rising quickly to the alert level (they are ready to attack)
- Reduced listening capacity by 50-60% (they do not ear what we say)
The first thing that should be emphasized is that, in a similar situation, the entities that we equally must not underestimate are 2:
- Who is in front of us
- Ourselves (we probably are in the same mental condition)
The emotion of the moment is in fact our biggest enemy and it is for this reason that a good self-defense plan should be designed / prepared / tested well before it must be put in place.
In this regard, with this series of articles, we want to examine what is the best way to behave through multiple levels of approach, from the less violent to the one which requires us to inevitably defend life.
Let's start from establishing, in order of importance our objectives in relation to the use of force:
- To safeguard our safety and that of those who are with us (friends, etc.)
- To safeguard the safety of those who attack us (the peaceful solution is the best)
- Safeguard what is our property (car, money, etc.)
As we can see, pride and personal honor are not even on the list, it makes no sense to have disproportionate reactions until, who attack us, do not tries to use an aggressive physical contact.
In the next article we will see how to deal with the first level of aggression.
After seeing the first exercise of the earth movements, we move on to a new one relative to the fire movements.
The practice that we are going to describe, in its early stage is very simple, it is focused on strengthen, speedup and concentrate the intensity of our soft movements. To start it is necessary to find:
- A pack of small candles (tealight, they are cheap)
- A lighter or matches (in the future we will see some survival techniques to light the fire)
Before beginning, we must emphasize some aspects of security:
- The fire (small or large) is dangerous and must be handled in a serious and responsible way (this exercise for children must be done with the supervision of an adult)
- We have to choose a large room which is free of flammable items (including our clothes)
- We must put our candle on a solid base and away from any kind of wind (even small)
- We must fill a water bucket to have it on hand (just in case)
- We must not go away from the flame lit, if we have to go we must switch off it
- The flame always have to be under our direct eye's control
- We have to put the candle lit at the height of the blow we want to deliver
- Generally, we start with the punch but we can also use kicks or other
- Let's stand in front of the candle in a stable position (ma bu or any guard stance)
- At the beginning we must make sure that the limb in phase of impact will be at a distance of 10 cm from the flame
- The objective is to extinguish the candle without touching it and without the help of external interferences (eg. wind drafts, etc.)
- We have to hit in a soft, relaxed but quick and decisive way (alternating limbs)
- For every hit we must instantly go back on guard / pose
- Let's imagine we want to release energy as a shock wave (we can see the article "The metal sphere: how to release the force of a kick or a punch")
- Let's always imagine to strike an opponent, we are not playing
- If we can, we must try to use our entire body via the muscle chain / breathing
Variants and evolutions:
- Gradually, when our ability to extinguish the candle stabilizes, we can move away each time a bit more and hit by an increased distance
- The exercise can be made a bit 'more difficult by setting a defined time to put out a specific number of candles
- After reaching a good skill we can try to extinguish a spaced row of candles with one shot
- The last step (for experts) is to turn off a candle behind a glass surface; it starts from the candle inside a transparent jar (opened above) to arrive to position a (thin) square of glass; in both cases the shot must be thrown away from the openings (eg. far from the upper part of the jar)
- There is nothing of strange or paranormal in this practice, the idea is to force the flame to lose its activation temperature
- Let's do our breathing far from the flame to do not interfere with our blows
- Especially the first few times we must avoid straining our body (for novices is better not to go beyond 5 minutes of practice without interruption)
- We must not reach extension limits of our joints or in the long run they will be damaged
- Both in water that in earth movements there is a similar exercise (we will see them)
- This exercise in the long run teaches us to concentrate the soft strength, let's be careful with our training partners
- This workout in the basic version is suitable for all levels of practitioners, provided they are able to work with fire conscientiously
In the next article of this series we will see other exercises (ether movements).
After stressing the importance of collecting clean, constant and ordered information about our training we go to the next step, the data analysis.
For a good martial artist, each month, it must come a time to devote to autocriticism. It can appear obvious but only a very small amount of people do it; it is necessary that we stop our cyclical training to understand and note:
- What are our failures
- Which roads have had a positive effect and which do not
- What are the strengths on which to insist
We have to ask ourselves the right questions and find, in relation to them: causes, effects and solutions.
- Why we quickly are out of breath? Improper breathing? Do not we train our resistance? More cardio exercises can help us? We must revise our method of inhalation / exhalation?
- Why the knives do not implant into the target? We should carry a greater number of launches or there is an error in the technique? How often we do knife throwing practice?
- Why our legs can not kick the fabric cloth in the air? We do not express enough power or we perform wrong movements?
- Why our defense is regularly penetrated? It 'too low? We make large movements in the wrong times? Are we slow? What exercise can help us to better manage our defense?
- What can we do to increase the number of kicks that we can make in 10 minutes? Where we struggle the most? Breathing is syncronized with the motion? In how many muscles is divided the effort? Slower or faster executions would benefit us?
Each error / failure has to be sectioned, analyzed and corrected. Nothing of we do is perfect, let's start with what gives us the bigger problems and gradually let's draw near to what we do best. We must:
- Ask questions to real experts
- Look for reliable articles, books, videos
The solutions that works come in 90% of cases from those who have already done our errors, from those who have already achieved our goals; who has not reached them or has only touched them, hardly can help us.
There is no limit to what / how we can improve and this is the most effective / faster way. In the next article of this series we will see through practical examples what to evaluate to improve.
As we have already mentioned (it is also a golden rule of marketing) we can not improve what we do not measure, it is not important whether it is:
- Resistance in ground fighting
- Execution speed of a technique
- Coordination in a combined sequence
- Accuracy in throwing of shurikens
To make progress and keep our concentration level constantly turned to evolution is necessary to always know at what level we are.
This also helps when our fitness (moral or other) is not at 100%, we will be automatically encouraged to express a performance, at least, as effective than the previous one.
The best way to keep track of the quality of our training is to keep on hand a piece of paper or (better) any digital data loading device (smartphone, computer, tablet, etc.) to write:
- Comments about what works and what does not (not necessarily for all exercises)
- Ratings from 0 to 10 in terms of quality the execution of each exercise
- Counts (eg. number of perfect launches, number of abdominal in 10 minutes, etc.)
- Ideas, tests, analysis to be performed and questions to be answered
Between one exercise and another is obvious that we will be hardly able to write poems or even complete sentences (we have neither the time nor the concentration to do so): let's try instead to be schematic, to use as much as possible tables, (clear) abbreviations, intuitive symbols (with their significance's legends) and numbers.
If we can keep this sort of "training diary" we will have the fundamental base to go to the next step, the analysis and correction of our shortcomings.
In the next article of this series we will see how to evaluate and give sense to the data we collect.
An example of an advanced daily training session of 6DKF (5 hours, individual, including some special / specific tools and exercises):
10 minutes of vibrations exercise (advanced version)
20 minutes of various kind of jumps (even with the 20-25Kg Kettelbell / jilet)
20 minutes of various exercises for the abs with the 20-25Kg Kettelbell (or a similar weight)
10 minutes of conditioning with wooden / rock brick (hitting abdominals, etc.)
10 minutes of kicking high in all the directions (360 °, starting slowly)
10 minutes of upper body free fighting combinations (punches, elbows, etc.)
10 minutes of use of the whip with precise target (both hands)
10 minutes of one hand rotations with the 5kg long metal stick (tube)
10 minutes of spiral muscle chain (research of sync)
10 minutes of fabric training with a rope instead of the fabric cloth
10 minutes of wooden dummy (high speed, high power)
30 minutes of high speed fighting against a speedaball hanging on an elastic rope on another (small space, real obstacles)
10 minutes of Dragon Motion exercise with weights in hands
50 minutes of projections and ground fighting with a 40-60Kg bag / grappling dummy
60 minutes of free high speed fabric cloth training
20 minutes of meditation on one leg (10 minutes for each)
Remember this is not a training for a novice, it is dangerous and it requires a certain effort. Even this time we've included some specific tools (the grappling dummy, the poles, etc.) and some more Particular exercises (Dragon motion, muscle chain spiral, etc.), not worry, we will see everything with specific articles.
The Spiral Muscle Chain: twists and screws of the body
In terms of power, many of the better performing parts of our body are unfortunately also those that are normally be excluded from (active) involvement in the combat activity.
We are talking about the devastating force that can be triggered for example from:
- The abdominal muscles
- The dorsal muscles
- The lumbar muscles
- Combinations (even of small muscles)
When an advanced 6DKF's practitioner gain a basic familiarity with the linear muscle chain (which we have already spoken) arrives for him the time to evolve to a next step in the management of his "martial body".
We introduce therefore, within the idea of muscle connection: twists and spins. Although it is easy to see that this type of movements are the key to unleash the greatest amount of power it must be underlined that:
- Without proper physical conditioning we seriously risk to damage ourself
- On the other side, without the necessary ability to synchronize and connect, all the power dissipates
After a long training solidly focused on the linear muscle chain (increase and performance measurement) we will become gradually able to attach / include within our sequences even the most difficult elements to be involved (big or small they are).
This is not an easy result to be achieved, in essence we have to perfectly harmonize:
- The twists / screw connections
- The breathing
- The linear muscle chain
- The management of our body mass
- The vibrations (which we have already spoken)
- The Dragon Motion (which we have already spoken)
- Our flexibility
- Our conditioning
- Our balance
- Our explosive force
- Our relaxation
In the next articles of this series we will see the first exercises to develop the consistent use of twists, how to increase their intensity and finally how to consistently connect everything to our fighting system.